I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
