butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
