My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize