Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
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Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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