Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
