we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
