I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So squirting runs in the family.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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