Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This is not my ceiling
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
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