You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
