i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
