Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
