but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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