Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
