He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize