She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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