Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
