Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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