When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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