this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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