he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
