The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
