Are we in a gay sports bar?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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