dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
