I'm eating all of the evidence.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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