You just made me feel so damn special
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
