I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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