hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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