He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
