Fuck appropriateness.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
