My first STD was from a foam party
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
how drunk are you?
Several
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
