his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why are your pants in the freezer?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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