The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
