Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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