I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize