Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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