You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
