I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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