We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize