Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
