It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
