He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
