hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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