yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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