would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
