A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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