she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
