i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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