Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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