so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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