and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
