i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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