I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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