I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
