omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
