i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream