i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right