sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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