i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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