yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He better not be in your backpack
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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