dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
