some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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