this beer tastes like vomit already
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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