Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize