whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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