I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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