im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
